facebook status quotes

• ’m not addicted to Facebook i just have an addiction to Facebook.
• wonders how many people can go a whole week without  going on Facebook?
• I miss when Facebook was first started… Times were much simpler back then.
• Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Never mind, it’s too long.
• My job is definitely secure. No one else wants it.
• Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
• Peter reminds you to not play stupid with me! I’m better at it.
• Lauren lives vicariously… through herself.
• Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
• I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re all right now.
• Have you ever noticed that “lol” looks like a drowning man? I don’t think he was laughing out loud..
• My oven has a button that says ‘Stop Time’. I know it’s probably supposed to say ‘Stop Timer’, but I don’t touch it, just in case.
• You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.
• Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.
• Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you dont know.
• Success is the proper utilization of failure
• You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want
• Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I’ve just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you’re doing and listen. Cannonball!
• “I am going to (insert place) to meet my future boyfriend while he is gambling next to me..”
• I made up a quote ages ago and I still love it